Thursday 9 May 2013

boom boody boom boody boom


This time last week I was successfully recovering from a series of unfortunate events. I went to the Freedom Festival, a trance party in the beautiful and lush cane fields of KZN.

To begin with, I was under the impression that this trance party was in Durban. About 5 minutes before we left we realised that it was in fact in Umhlali, a farming village about an hour and a half outside of Durban. We are already off schedule and still need to get booze and non-perishable goods (my festival goods usually consist of rolls, processed Melrose cheese and chips)So after spending some time collecting our goods, we head out towards Umhlali. Not knowing how the hell to get to this place I brought my GPS along.

Everything was going well until we realised we needed to draw some more cash. Getting closer towards the rural part of town, buildings, petrol stations and ATMs started to look scarce. We eventually found a Shoprite with an in house Triton ATM. But this wasn’t just any Shoprite. It was a Shoprite in a rural village and a not only that, but a Shoprite filled with locals shopping on pay day.  Alex and I were slightly taken aback by the hordes of people buying their monthly stock of walkies talkies (a South African delicacy of chicken feet and beaks) and cabbage, which was sold in semi expired looking bundles outside the shop.

We left my sister Courtney in the car while we slipped in between masses of people to find the ATM. After a successful withdrawal and a substantial amount of germs now attached to my right index finger we return to the car only to find a very distraught Courtney telling us to “get in, get in the car, get in the car now!”. After asking her what happened, she informed us that some man propositioned her for a sex act, through the window. We already felt like we needed a shower and we weren’t even at the trance party yet!

Right, so booze – check, food – check, cash – check and we were off again to the Freedom Festival. It was silly of me not to realise that GPS’ usually take you the long way around. Although we got to the road we were supposed to turn down, we entered it from the far end, taking us to, at first, a beautiful patch of sewage and then to this beautiful road to the middle of fucking nowhere.  The view was rather spectacular except, we weren’t there for the view.

Me at the sewage plant losing my mind in trying to find this place
So this is what it looks like from the middle of nowhere

The lonnng and winding road

We first-geared up this gravel dirt road, up and up and up and up. “It’s not here guys! It’s just not here!” I scream to my friend and sister. Civilisation was getting further and further away, we were 4 hours in and we still weren’t at the effing trance party!

Out of the few people we saw on the desolate road there were four little kiddie winkles who caught our attention...or was it the bird on their hands that caught it first? Understandably due to lack of PlayStations in the area these kids had been creative and tied a birds feet together in a sort of ‘dog on a leash’ style, for fun. Alex was completely distraught about this and insisted we pulled over to command them to undo the bird. 'Undo the bird' - now there's a sentence I didn't ever expect to say...


After rewarding them for letting the bird go with a bag of Fritos (or as Courtney put it, rewarded them for animal cruelty) we took stock of our situation.


Just when things couldn’t get any worse, I notice the petrol light is on. Shit. After driving up the long and winding road to nowhere, we decided to turn around. I suggest we turn the car off to reserve petrol and start freewheeling down the gravel road. Speed suddenly picks up and I try and brake. “GUYS. GUYS! The brakes! The brakes aren’t working!!” I rant. “The car has to be on for the brakes to work” Alex replies. So we stop and restart and continue on our thus far unsuccessful journey.  We start formulating plans for how we are going to get out of this situation should the petrol run out, but before we knew it (but not before effectively completing a Lion King medley) we heard the sound of bass in the distance...boom boody boom boody boom boody boom...

We made it! We had finally made it! Without any delay we pitched the tent, poured a drink and went looking for, um 'flying ants'?

One man tent for three 

We thought it would be a cool idea to buy these Mainstay cocktail drinks. Should have known not to buy box drinks…this daiquiri tasted like a genuine bum and was henceforth called ‘the bum’, ‘poo daiquiri’ or ‘arsehole cocktail’ for the rest of the night. Still sober Alex and I tried to get our trance groove on.



The poo daiquiri! 
boom boody boom boody boom


Magical


















Trancing (I assume this is what you call dancing to trance) proves to be quite difficult in a sober state so we gave ourselves some time to not judge, but simply marvel at the people around us. Looks like the trancers of today like to be accompanied by a stick, which they use to create a more prominent stomping effect.  There were a lot of wannabe hippies that seem to think they can adopt the hippie state of mind by simply wearing a head band and luminous get up and say things like...



My favourite person that we met was a Santa Claus in his own right. I had been marveling at him for ages as he fiddled with his hands, looked up to the sky, threw up and caught what I assumed was an imaginary ball and basically just got lost in the depths of his mind. Next thing I knew this guy had his hand out to me in a “will you have this dance” sort of way. I wasn’t sure what to do and told him so. “It’s trance. You can do whatever you want with it. It’s your toy. Play with it” So I take the imaginary toy (that I wish I was high enough to see) and pop it on my shoulder. He went on to make a toy for each of us that night (and also pulled my hair trying to "catch Alex’s one")

My second favorite person was a somewhat elderly lady (one of the more genuine hippy types) who propositioned us for a 'giggle spin'. Of course I assumed this was some kind of drug but I was wrong. She asked us to all make a circle, hold hands and then spin spin spin around until we were in fits of laughter. It started off quite awkwardly, but we got into it quite quickly and next thing I hear this poor lady say "wait. not so fassst!". The giggle spin was definitely a highlight for me.

The creative art displayed was beautiful, the location was amazing and most of all everyone looked like they had a dang all good time.

The trance floor to be

Alex on left and Toy Maker on right

Fire starter!

The night went on and the music didn't change much.  boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom. That’s not to say that I don’t like it but, oh wait for it, waaaait for ittttt, boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom. Alex and I incessantly joshed annnndddd waait for it YES boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom. Enough to make you moggy after a good few hours, so Alex and I retired to the back seats of the car and called it a night. Of course (and by no means to our surprise), we awoke to…you guessed it! The boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom bass beat. We were all tranced out and headed back home (on the right road this time).