my load of crap

When it comes to buying things,I have learnt to listen to that little person inside me (or should I say, that little bank statement inside me wallet) that says do you NEED this or WANT this?  

Me with my regret face on after making a purchase that I knew I shouldn't have.

I thought a good idea would be to make a list of things you think you need and then bracket in reasons why you need it. Mine would probably look something like this...

• New bras (coz for some reason my boobs got big)
• Pregnancy test? (nah, can´t be that)
• Socks (because it’s about time I owned a pair)
• New shoes (because I´m not very good with remembering to cut my toe nails so have moved up from a size 6 to a 7)
• A bottle of wine (for emergencies)
• A box of wine (for the time in between emergencies)
• Vitamins (because my diet is unhealthy so I need to take supplements)
• Clothes pegs (so my neighbour doesn’t continue to think he is a rockstar when my panties accidently land on him)
• Full brief underwear (now that I´m back in Cape Town with these wild South Easters, I´ll have to start wearing them)

Let´s talk about a person we all know. A person who goes shopping when they have no money, or just for the sake of it. A person who convinces themselves that they have made the right decision to purchase something they know they don´t need. The following quotes come to mind:


"you can dress it up or down!"
"you can wear it during the day or night!"
"you can wear it with heels or flats!"
"you can wear it with anything!"
"i only bought it because it was on sale."
"I can always take it back"
"I just thought it was so me!"
"i just had to have it!"


I must have been this person because I recently went through my stuff in storage and couldn't believe the amount of crap I had!  Not only did I have too many things, but I had too many of the same things...


10 bikini´s for example.Does one really need this many bikinis? 

Here are my favourite "what the fuck did I keep this for?" 

 "I don´t need this" items:

I don´t remember ever being into construction but yes I have these.

Another 5 more where these came from

A box with a CD, fake eye-lashes, a peg, a hair band, nail clippers, a tampon , a lighter and a highlighter.  An amazingly random collection of rubbish.

Another bag of random crap (that leather thing on the left hand side is an Absolute Vodka bottle case by the way, not some kind of dominatrix piece)

Vaginal thrush cream applicators. NOW WITH A NEW MOTH BALL SCENT!

Four golf vests, just in case I decide to take up golf. When and if I do,I will have not only have one,  but FOUR golf vests!

I don´t remember buying this

Suprise!! You used to be a 6! I must have loved this dress so much that I just couldn't bear  to wear it - price tag still attached.

4 hours,10 boxes and 5 Chinese bulk bags later I had completed sorting through my load of crap. Would you believe that after 4 hours, out of 10 boxes and 5 Chinese bulk bags, I walked away with 3 items...My Nelson Mandela vest, my Beatles shirt and my Aberdeen hoody....and a mouse.