when Harry (and William) met Chanelle

I have a new found respect for mothers, after taking up my position as a nanny for two boys - William and Harry - no lies.

After two days of working as a full time nanny (basically doing everything a full time mom would do) I started to think that it is very close to humanly impossible...I know we have been doing it for years but I am not really sure how. How did women of the past manage to control their young-in without TV, a playpen, high chair, Ritalin or any other child controlling equipment? How did they survive the day knowing they couldn't relax at the end of it with a glass of wine? How did they do it without a bra?

My duties included dressing the kids, breakfast, naps, nappy changes, taking the kids to school, more naps, lunch, activities, dinner, bath time, supper time and bedtime. It doesn't sound like much - but it is - it really is. Because children are like spinning tops, they don't stop moving, so not only are you doing all of these things but you are doing them on and around little whirlwinds or otherwise known as children.  Not only do you have to feed, bathe and play with them but you have to WATCH THEM and WATCH EVERYTHING THEY DO.

William is 4 and Harry is 16 months. What an age gap! I had a huge wave of anxiety when I realised I needed the loo. William isn't old enough to watch Harry while I go wee and I can't leave this 4 and 16 month old unattended! I also can't take them into the bathroom with me! Imagine the story they would tell their mom. "Mum - we saw Chanelle having a wee today. She took us into the bathroom with her while she made a wee"

Babies, as gorgeous as they are, are really just blobs aren't they? They can't talk, tell you what they want, dress, go to the toilet and so on. It is pretty crazy to think about what a huge responsibility that is. I can understand why women let themselves go after having kids - what women would have the time to fix herself up! As incapable as they are they manage to move at the speed of light and can fall from a high chair within a split second of you turning your back (a misfortune that thankfully didn't happen to me) Harry did walk into the fridge though. I opened the fridge to get milk - a task which lasted approximately 2 seconds - and in those 2 seconds Harry managed to come from the lounge, into the kitchen and straight into the fridge. BAM! I thought "Oh Fuck!" I would be lying if I told you I didn't Google "how do you know if a child is concussed". It was right before his nap time too so I couldn't put him down (I knew was a no no if someone is concussed) Anyway, he was fine and lived to not tell the tale (because he can't talk).

I think the most intense part of my day was when Harry wouldn't let me put him down and I had dinner on the go. Sausages in the oven that I needed to check on which I can't very well do with a baby the size of a roast in my arms. Imagine if he fell in! How do you explain that you dropped your bosses child in the oven? oops. I opted for putting him in his high chair for a minute or two while I checked the sausages.

Parenting is multitasking. Nannying is multitasking at its ultimate extreme, because they aren't your kids so the responsibility is more intense. It's not for the faint-hearted or soft balled!

To conclude - if you have a weak stomach for poop, like your clothes clean, like peace and quiet and don't enjoy air tea - don't have kids.