artsy-fartsy

I can't draw. I tried to draw Buddah in a game of Pictionary once and it looked like a blob of poo, but maybe that's okay...

I recently visited a contemporary art gallery in Sydney and it looks like if the only thing you can do, is draw a blob of poo - that's good enough to be exhibited in a gallery.

Here are some of the pieces I saw...

I was thrilled to meet Spiderman, except,  I was quite surprised to see he has a J-Lo ass. Thought this piece could have been better if Spiderman was on the wall upside down kissing the horrible bald but bearded man.

 Amazing! Five pieces of 1x1 meter chiffon material hanging from the ceiling!

I like this. It's weird. But I like it. Wouldn't put it up in my house because it would scare this shit out of me, but I like it.

 The one hour laugh. Four girls dressed up as gnomes laughing for a whole hour.

This intricate piece looks like the Startrek mother-ship got raided and all they took was the pillow cases which they then hung on a wall and called it art.

Mixed feelings about this one. I like green, but don't like dogs. It's on a pedestal though and I like pedestals.

Weird. A digital video of I really don't know what and I don't think the artist did either because the description of the piece made no sense at all. It just looked like a booby giving birth to four livers.

Black, Blue, Brown and White Stripes - brilliant! Five words  - five year old finger painting.

Sweet Cheeses! Imagine my surprise when I turned the corner into a dark room to see this! Oh the horror! A video of a woman trying to make herself cry. Looks more like she is trying to pinch off a loaf, but anyway.

I had to imagine the artist responsible for this, reading out a checklist for the display...

"okay! 

bones - check!

old carpet - check!

pottery lamp - check!

I feel like I'm forgetting something...... ah yes! Thorns! - check!"

These were quite sweet but again, 300 teeny tiny shell shoes? What are you supposed to do with them after the exhibition? Donate them to a midget colony?

Artist: "A whole wall just for me!.... hmmmm... I'm just gonna put a pointless little red face in the corner of my space though."

My favourite! This was exhibited at the exit and I walked straight past it thinking it was a bit of a construction site, but this, is in fact, a work of art. There is a mark in the bottom left hand corner saying "Please do no touch". I thought to myself "TOUCH WHAT?! The big blank piece of nothing or the wet tissue on it?"


It seems to me that you can call anything you want 'art'. So here are some pieces of mine which I think are quite spectacular...

Rubber Duck on Gerkin Jar

Rubber Duck in Cupcake Holder

Rubber Duck on Head

 Rubber Duck on Toilet