pipe down: traveling beans - part 2

Our spirits were up and we were ready to experience the land of the Thai. The airport was impressive - modern and organised.We were back to busy and noisy streets - buzzing, tooting and grumbling from the cars, scooters and tuk-tuks.The tuk-tuks were all interestingly and beautifully decorated and riding one was a sure “we are in Thailand” moment. We grabbed yet another dish of chicken fried rice and headed down to Khao San Road.

Khao San Road…wow! A road filled with evils and delights alike. It swallows tourists and spits them out in singlets, braids and tattoos. By day, it's a bustling road of stores selling beautiful brightly embroidered goods, clothes and books. By night, the stores remain, but lady boys and ping-pong show sellers attain the road. The night lights are bright, the music pumps from every club and bar along the road, the tourists yack and screech through the streets and there is a constant popping sound that passes your ears (that popping sound is the ping-pong show sellers grabbing your attention to sell you a show ticket).

We visited the floating market outside of Bangkok. Men and women in gondola type boats selling fresh fruit, vegetables and other bit and bobs. We also visited loads of temples. Every morning at 5am the monks collect alms from locals. They set off with their baskets or bags and collect milk, biscuits, flowers, water, pretty much anything from the community. It is supposed to give one good karma to give to the monks, however it's disrespectful to give to them if you are a tourist.

Our first Thailand destination was Ko Samui. We missed the bus to the full moon party, but were thankful to arrive there at all after catching the next bus out - a torturous 12 hour ride in a shot, kitchorama bus. That evening we shared 4 vodka buckets on the beach, watched fire dancing and then caught a scooter ride back to our hotel where we skinny dipped in the moonlit ocean…Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of that.

Waiting for the bus

The bus (please take note of blankets you could crack in half they were so filthy)

Loungers on the beach

The bucket - cheap vodka and fake Coke

We were up early the next day to catch a huge ass cargo ship to Krabi. Well actually to catch a bus, then ferry, then bus, then bus, then bus to Krabi. I am still amazed how these pre booked trips managed to stay organised shifting loads of people between buses, boats and ferrys. It is all facilitated with stickers. Whatever colour sticker you have, is where you go and they swap them out about 5 times before you actually get to your destination.

On our first night in Krabi we went to watch a lady boy show. Oh boy…we were the only two people in this tiny bar watching the show with a cast of 8. It was intimate and weird. It wasn't a very good show and the lady boys weren’t as feminine as expected, but it was an interesting experience nevertheless. The one lady boys boob kept popping out. Poor thing. We also had Thai massages in Krabi. Oh the pain! There was nothing relaxing about it. I was in pain the whole time. All that yanking and clicking and pulling can’t be good for you.

The highlight of our time in Krabi was doing a nighttime kayak trip. We were picked up by a couple and their helper and taken to a little ravine where we kayaked across the water with a sunset backdrop. After our kayak we were served a fish braai (unlucky for me) on the ravine island.

Swamp like mud that we had to mission through in the dark

Our lanterns

My chicken fried rice belly was slowly but surely growing. I was disappointed that it didn't go the other way, but in the end I was grateful that I didn't get the shits like Dennis did. I mastered hovering/ squatting over a toilet but never quite mastered avoiding the splash back. Thankfully hand sanitizer can be used on your hands as well as other body parts – like legs and arse crack.

Asian toilets. The bucket on the left is filled with water that you use to pour in the bowl to flush.

Another day, another uncomfortable bus ride back to Bangkok. We arrived back in Bangkok at 5am in the morning and there was all kind of set up going on there. We soon found out that it was Thai New Year and they were setting up for the festivities that were starting that night. They celebrate New Years over 3 days and over those 3 days a massive water fight takes place. It’s a third world country that can barely afford food but has money to waste water… anyway. It was an awesome experience being there over New Year! Water guns were sold on the streets for people to buy and use to soak others. It was just a massive water fight meets street party. After some down days over an unfortunate scam we experienced, we decided to take on alter ego personalities that we evoked through funny glasses we bought – when wearing them – we were Clyde and Bitsy.

I struggled with my morals on the whole sex tourism thing. In the end, I gave in to my curiosity and we visited the red light district. We met a German couple on the way, who was game to go - so off we went, but not before eating some crickets that were being sold on Khao San.

After a couple weeks coming and going in and out of Bangkok, we were happy to be off on our jungle trek in Chiang Mai. We took an overnight train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai - an awesome experience! We had our own little bunk beds and blankets and everything was so clean and organized. When we arrived, a man greeted us with Dennis’ name on it. We were taken to our guesthouse and the next day we set off for our 3-day 2-night jungle trek.

Our trek was amazing. We had good weather and a great group of people to share it with. We rode elephants and bamboo rafts and did a decent amount of walking. We stayed in next to nothing shacks with nothing but a sleeping bag, pillow and mozzie net. We drank rice whiskey around the fire while the tour guide played his guitar in a drunken stupor. I was nervous about the food, but once again, I was astounded by what they managed to prep in their little campfire kitchen. We were trekking over my birthday and Dennis spoiled me with a tube of Pringles and a magic trick. The night of my birthday was spent playing flip cup (a Thai drinking game), Kings and the accent game (our invented party game where you pass on an accent and situation for your opponent to do). It was definitely a memorable birthday!